What is life is like in a country where any sign of dissent or defiance to the Government can result in beatings or jail? Where media is either state-owned or regulated? And where blogging is dangerous.

The Sky News Insider Blog comes from inside Zimbabwe - where activists hoping for democracy are beaten or killed; where HIV/AIDS is rife; where life expectancy is low. This week workers are being urged to join a "stayaway" protest.

"Hope" is an activist opposed to President Mugabe. She is having to use a pseudonym to avoid recrimination. This is her blog:

Thursday

I want to write today about the aftermath of the stayaway. I've spoken to quite a few people who feel very depressed by the low support.

Many people experience these sort of things as 'yet another failure', and that in turn becomes a conversation about Zimbabweans in general and how little they want democracy, how passive they are, and how apathetic they are.

The next level of the conversation sometimes moves into talk of 'this is a sign that there is no future in this country.'

It becomes so much worse for everyone when we read analyses and opinion from so-called experts outside Zimbabwe which concludes that Zimbabweans 'aren't ready' and that 'there's nothing the international community can do' and 'it's up to Zimbabweans.'

Can you imagine the cycle of despair and frustration and helplessness that individuals in Zimbabwe experience? It's very dangerous to get caught up in that sort of downward journey.

I hit my rock bottom a few years ago when the South African election observer team declared our elections in Zimbabwe to be free and fair. I knew they weren't free and fair because I'd spoken directly to people who had been locked in polling stations, intimidated, turned away from voting, beaten with truncheons - the list of skulduggery was endless. To me, the observer outcome was a foregone conclusion: fraudulent, violent and rigged.

When the 'free and fair' verdict came back from the SA observer team I was stunned; I sunk into a depression that lasted for a couple of months. I literally did nothing but stare blankly out of a window and I felt dead inside and I felt betrayed.

I couldn't stand to hear the comments from everyone that we hadn't tried hard enough, and it hurt to hear the peaceful, gentle Zimbabwean people - who I am so proud of all the time - to almost be described as 'losers' (I know that word isn't used, but it sometimes feels as if some people stop just short of using it).

I had to think very hard about my life and my country. I decided a few things which have helped me ever since, even though we have seen and experienced far worse than failed stayaways or rigged elections since then.

I decided that I would put emotions to one side and focus instead on always looking just one step beyond the next battle we were about to engage in. My recipe for keeping going is this:

1/ I never ever look at the next challenge as our final challenge. If I did that, and it didn't succeed as I hoped it would, I would sink like a stone into dark despair.

2/ I understand that the struggle we face is a long one. Even if we get the free and fair elections we all long for, the mess that our country is in is massive and we have many years of difficulty and hardship and hard work ahead of us to bring things around again. I accept that we are only at the very beginning of a long struggle.

3/ I do not judge my fellow Zimbabweans. I believe that Zimbabweans are no different to any other nation of people in this world. We simply want an ordinary and safe and happy life. Some people will take longer than others to reach a point where they start doing things that most ordinary people would not do. I do not believe it is fair to judge them for being human.

Those of you who live outside Zimbabwe, please ask yourselves these questions: Would YOU stand in a street and protest if you KNEW there was a very real chance you would be savagely beaten, possibly to death? Do you vote in all your elections every single year (including the years it rains on election day)?
Do you participate in efforts to address all the injustices that take place in your community?

I wouldn't judge you if you answered no to even one of those questions, but I would probably say this to you: 'you're just like us.'

I was very encouraged by the news that the solidarity protest in Johannesburg was well supported by Zimbabweans taking to the streets and that Zimbabwean people were speaking out loudly and clearly and angrily.

It's much easier to do the right thing, to stand up and shout out, in a country where your rights are protected and there is a free media watching closely over you.

When I heard that, I thought to myself, Zimbabweans CAN take to the streets just like people do everywhere else in the world, if they have the same protection that other people in the rest of the world do. We are not passive or less outspoken than other people, we just have to face the kinds of dangers and fears that people in safer nations will never dream of having to face ever in their lives.

So I say this to you: "you are like us, but we can also be just like you!"

Another positive thing happened today for me. There was news that one of the biggest names - a name that keeps cropping up in all conversations about Zimbabwe - also honoured the ZCTU call for a stayaway and stood in solidarity with us: Robert Mugabe flew to the Far East.

Comments

[Khalid 5 Apr 2007 13:27:21]

Stayaway!

[Chris, UK 5 Apr 2007 13:11:52]

Keep up the good work.

[priyazim, Bulawayo 5 Apr 2007 10:56:41]

YES, the big name also stayed-away and it will be longer than was called for!! How patriotic! Oh to be able to afford a flight of fancy!
I was thinking about the stay-away and the news that it wasn't a success. I disagree, to some extent. If there is 80% unemployment, most of the people who were out and about during those two days were the unemployed. The shops and businesses that were operating, were possibly operating under duress and, as mentioned yesterday, if staff reported for duty for whatever reason, the employers would be obliged to open.
And also, those who chose not to observe the stay-away do not deserve anyone's condemnation - especially from the outside. Whatever the world may think of us at this stage, the majority of us here are united in the fact that.... we need change, peaceful change; a wish from every man, woman and child living here.
Think of us, think of your friends, relatives, who are braving this storm and try to put yourself in their shoes while you sit in the comfort and security of your homes, elsewhere, knowing you have electricity 24 hours a day, clean water and enough food to feed yourself and your family. Think too, that you are able to afford an annual holiday, clothe your family, afford school fees, school uniforms, text books, medicines and maybe even a few luxuries. To the majority of us living here, most of these are mere dreams.